just a thought

so i'm posting this a day after i wrote it... i was happy where i was until i found out some shit. but you know when your with someone you still kinda maybe have thoughts about someone you cant really talk about. well these are those but...

I feel like I always start off my blogs with saying sooooo... Lol. I just do. Ima need to change that. Anywho... I've been thinking about this year and all that I have been through. People who I wanted to trust and couldn't, things I set out to do that never got accomplished... The workout plan that was supposed to make me into a total knockout... Haha. Some thing just don't work out. Some things you just have no control over and some you do... Especially guys. Ugh.
There is one guy that I feel like is one that I totally over looked, took for granted and lost for good. That sucks. I'm not really used to rejection... No one is but I didn't really get rejected I think. What happened was that I was dealing with him and someone else @ the same time... I thought that the person I met first was someone worth holding on to and although he was as well I kinda just put him on the back burner. What sucks about this is that guy #1 is a great guy but isn't really giving me what I want and or need. There are still unanswered questions and awkward moments that I don't really know how to solve or even if I want to. With guy #2... Where do I start? He is fine. Definition of TALL, DARK (yum) and HANDSOME... The perfect mix of nice, sexy, sweet, romantic, aggressive... Did I mention sexy. Ugh. How could I be soooooo dumb??!?!? Anywho... I guess what he said to me was that it seemed like I wanted something more serious than what he may have wanted @ the time... Totally wrong might I add. But he slowly backed away and made himself MIA until I confronted him about it... That hurt me. After he was gone of course I realized he was probably one of the best/total packages I had ever met... Although I feel like my husband, granted if I ever do get married, will be west indian but he was (still is ) the acception... Too bad I think about him all the damn time and run into his friends while I'm out. I just want to grab one of them and be like, "SPILL THE SCOOP MAN!! WTF HAPPENED??" That wouldn't work... It wouldn't help because I hate when people do that to me and ultimately it is his choice who he talks to...