sold "as is"

I title this only because you just have to accept people for who and what they are... after an outing with my friends and hearing this and that I feel like my attitude toward friendships i handle more like a guy. i'm not with all the fussing and making sure we speak everyday... just know that i'm there whenever you need me... when i mean whenever i mean it. i wrote this blog after a night out on the town...
Man last night was a trip. I can't believe how fake some people can be. I def try not to become a part of the gossip that goes on between my friends. I try my hardest to stay mutual and in good standing with them. Its only right... Some of my friends I can always count on... Some I wish I counted on more because they are always there... I just don't see it. Others try to be but judge my every step... Then talk about me to others not realizing the only person they are hurting are themselves.
I'm a different kind of friend tho...I've def learned some things so I see thing differently. If I came down to it I would give the shirt off my back for one of my girls, even if they wouldn't for me! I would just hope that I'm not one of those people that seem intimidating in any way. Maybe that's not the word I'm looking for... I would hope people could come to be about anything. Its not always fun having to talk about something that someone did/does that's bothers you but its healthy and helps build a relationship. Although I know I haven't been taking my own advice 100% but its odd that everyone wants to claim to be "grown" but cant/don't handle situations as so... I guess that's part of "growing up"....

just a thought

so i'm posting this a day after i wrote it... i was happy where i was until i found out some shit. but you know when your with someone you still kinda maybe have thoughts about someone you cant really talk about. well these are those but...

I feel like I always start off my blogs with saying sooooo... Lol. I just do. Ima need to change that. Anywho... I've been thinking about this year and all that I have been through. People who I wanted to trust and couldn't, things I set out to do that never got accomplished... The workout plan that was supposed to make me into a total knockout... Haha. Some thing just don't work out. Some things you just have no control over and some you do... Especially guys. Ugh.
There is one guy that I feel like is one that I totally over looked, took for granted and lost for good. That sucks. I'm not really used to rejection... No one is but I didn't really get rejected I think. What happened was that I was dealing with him and someone else @ the same time... I thought that the person I met first was someone worth holding on to and although he was as well I kinda just put him on the back burner. What sucks about this is that guy #1 is a great guy but isn't really giving me what I want and or need. There are still unanswered questions and awkward moments that I don't really know how to solve or even if I want to. With guy #2... Where do I start? He is fine. Definition of TALL, DARK (yum) and HANDSOME... The perfect mix of nice, sexy, sweet, romantic, aggressive... Did I mention sexy. Ugh. How could I be soooooo dumb??!?!? Anywho... I guess what he said to me was that it seemed like I wanted something more serious than what he may have wanted @ the time... Totally wrong might I add. But he slowly backed away and made himself MIA until I confronted him about it... That hurt me. After he was gone of course I realized he was probably one of the best/total packages I had ever met... Although I feel like my husband, granted if I ever do get married, will be west indian but he was (still is ) the acception... Too bad I think about him all the damn time and run into his friends while I'm out. I just want to grab one of them and be like, "SPILL THE SCOOP MAN!! WTF HAPPENED??" That wouldn't work... It wouldn't help because I hate when people do that to me and ultimately it is his choice who he talks to...